I have finally found, after a minor epiphany the other day, is a modicum of peace within myself. I've spent many many years trying to be someone, trying to be something. And while I will never stop striving to do my best at my career, my life etc, I won't be trying to be anyone but me from now on. This new found feeling of reinvention is so liberating and will help move this blog along into something better.
I've been contemplating whether to continue blogging recently, mainly because I'd started feeling the pressure to write something which I suck at - fashion and beauty. It isn't that I don't care about these things, or that they aren't big parts of my life, but seriously, I don't care enough any more to have the latest wonder product, or the newest colours. As far as clothes go I have loads of things I love wearing, including awesome things I have made myself, but I have no desire to keep expanding my already sizeable wardrobe. So trying to keep up with fashion and beauty blogging is a pointless endeavour for me, you'd only ever see the same things over and over again.
I've also felt a bit unable to write about music and alternative stuff recently because I guess I just don't feel as if I belong. In some respects I feel like a bit of an imposter. I like the music I like (which is a diverse range) but without going to gigs or clubs regularly it can be a bit difficult to discover new stuff, whether it is properly new or just new to me. I've said it before, the metal/alternative scene can be a bit intimidating and definitely some groups can be a bit elitist and cliquey. But this is silly, and noone has the right to tell me who or what I am.
So this new found freedom will enable me to write better, to be a better girlfriend, to be a better person. I have an opportunity to be whatever I want to be, I better seize that and damn well use it.