Yesterday I cleared out my wardrobe of things that I don't wear any more, either because they don't fit that well, or I just simply don't really like them any more. Because some of the things I shed have been in my wardrobe for a number of years, it felt like the final part of a year long transformation of me.
It all started earlier in 2013 when I decided I was fed up with the hassle of dyeing my hair and went back to my natural hair colour. Since then my fast growing hair has steadily grown out the last remnants of colour treated hair, until they are only about half of my length. The sun has lightened my natural hair to make it all blend in, and I'm left with a subtle ombre effect, which I really quite like! I have surprised myself by actually really liking my natural hair colour. It is a dark mousey blonde, which is pretty cool in tone, and looks slightly grey in some lights. It really is the colour of mice!
This colour change prompted somewhat of a style revolution in me. It didn't happen straight away, but over time my uniform of black tshirts and short mini skirts with leggings began to feel a little dated. After all, I've been wearing those kind of things for nearly 10 years now, albeit in different forms. Time for a little bit of a change.
To me it feels like this is the last piece of the jigsaw in the last 6 years of transformation. Since I divorced my ex, I have struggled to really place myself in this world in some ways. The feeling got worse when I moved to Vienna, and struggled to find work, learn German etc. But now I have what I refer to as a 'proper job'. The job I went back to university to get. It isn't in quite the area I thought it would be, but then again, I didn't really have anything in particular in mind when I set out to move into the NGO field.
But here I am, working in an international NGO, in a good job, that feels very grown up. I am finally finding my feet, in my 30s, and that has meant my style has changed with that.
The black is still there - I can't see myself ever letting that go - but it is no longer the sole shade in my wardrobe. Interspersed with the blacks are whites, taupes and greys of various hues. My love of a neutral palette may never diminish, but it can evolve.
The shape of my clothes is changing too - paying a lot more lip service to flattering my silhouette with longer styles that draw the eye down my body more, rather than punctuating it at the wrong points.
It is all about becoming a full grown adult. I finally feel like I've arrived in this world, and I want my style to reflect that.