I have never thought of myself as a shopaholic. I don't fit the profile - I mean, I HATE shopping. I don't have an addictive personality, and I do know when to stop. But as I walked out of the cobblers at lunchtime having just handed over £42 of my hard earned pennies to pay for the repairs to the well worn boots and shoes I wear to work everyday (still cheaper than new pairs) I felt this urge to go and buy something.
I dismissed it soon enough, thinking that this close to pay day that might be a little reckless, and actually what do I need? It made me wonder what drives my need to shop, my need to have things, new things, pretty things...
Let's have a look at the things I have bought this month:
Weleda Almond Skincare - cleanser, moisturiser and facial oil - the last is a bit of a luxury item.
Deodorant, toothpaste and soap - again, fairly essential items
Nail polish - China Glaze Ahoy!, OPI Katy Perry The One That Got Away, China Glaze Fairy Dust, Seche Vite (replacement bottle)
2 sets of work out gear and a new sports bra
Skirt from Next (part paid for by vouchers)
Vest top from New Look
T shirt from Sainsburys
Black jersey mini skirt from Sainsburys (paid for with Nectar vouchers)
It doesn't feel like a lot, but it all adds up. Even though the idea of spending an afternoon traipsing round shops feeling depressed that I don't fit into that cookie cutter mould of the 'typical' British woman, I still end up buying things here and there.
But what makes me want to buy things? Is there, as one of those TV psychologists might try to insinuate, a deeper need or longing? I know my obsession with skincare and make up goes hand in hand with the skin problems I've been tackling for a good decade or so now, but the rest of it? Maybe it is really ok, and I'm just a normal person and the only reason it feels like it is too much is because I'm trying to save for the future. I have a good job, I earn good money, why shouldn't I spend it?
Then again, why should I spend so much? Do I really need these things? I tend to get a little bit obsessive about things, particularly my wardrobe, and I'll find something that I percieve that I 'need', and then go on an endless quest to find such things. The endless quests that are usually futile, but on the rare occasion they are successful they are so so rewarding. My latest one is some new jewellery. I own a lot of jewellery, all of it very beautiful and some of it very striking and different. But none of it feels right at the moment! I'm not fortunate in that I can't just buy any old jewellery, because I'm so allergic to anything other than silver. I'd love some cheap jewellery but alas... And again, I know what I want, and I can't find it.
I think it is time to do something different.
In March I am embarking on an 8 week diet to try and sort my skin out (the Healthy Skin Diet) so I think I will make it a Healthy Wallet diet as well. No purchases besides what is budgeted (I keep a certain figure in the monthly budget to pay for essential skin care, haircuts, hair dye etc).
I shall report back here with progress (and I promise I will start it all off with a proper post about the diet) and at the same time I'll update you with the no spending rule. That is, no spending on stuff just for me beyond what I budget for.