It's now 32 days until we set sail for Vienna. And even less days until I finally finish my job.
I am now really starting to contemplate what I'm going to do with my life. I'm relishing the opportunity to have some time off, to settle into our new surroundings a bit, and figure things out. But I'm most looking forward to the prospect of something simple, something like a bar job, to keep me going for a little while. In fact, we both are!
Working behind a bar is one thing The Beard and I have in common. Thing is, if you put me in a position where I don't have to have as much responsibility as I have now, where I don't feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, well, it is a bit scary thinking about what could happen.
One of the things about getting married when you're 18 (to a total douchebag as well) is that you never really get the chance to be yourself. Especially when the weight of the household staying together is really on you,. And then the weight of the world becomes your burden. I've never really got out of it and for the last year I've felt like I have no time to properly enjoy everything I've worked for, or just my life.
I'm sitting here now watching MTV Rocks 100 Monsters of Rock, and it's ACDC Highway to Hell. Earlier, before I went to have a bath, it was Judas Priest "Breaking The Law", which I love. I have danced around my living room tonight to a variety of tunes and smiled a lot, from the inside out.
When I move to Vienna, I want to find myself. And that me is somewhere at the bottom of a whisky bottle with a filthy mouth. I'm actually a little bit scared of what might happen to me... But I just know there is someone or something inside me needing to be set free!
(this post is brought to you by rather a lot of beer)
I've just turned 38, I'm married with two lovely kids, my family is the biggest treasure in my life and yet I can't stop thinking about breaking free (even a couple of days would do)
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